We all know how social media can connect us, bringing worlds together. Through Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and other social media platforms, relationships are rekindled, big life moments are shared with folks miles away, and the six degrees of separation becomes more like two or three.
For Eric and Michelle Carter, social media became a source of solace and encouragement during an incredibly difficult time. The joys of a second pregnancy soon turned to fear when the couple discovered their unborn baby girl had a myriad of health issues, the most serious a complete heart block. Three hours after Isabella came into the world a month premature on October 29, 2012, she was put on a pacemaker and the fight for her life began.
“It was a big decision to put anything on Facebook with it being a private matter,” shared Eric. “It was the easy road to let people know the updates, the situation, the progress.” The updates received well wishes, comments of support, and prayers, along with people sharing their own stories of hardships. “If we were having a bad day, we’d post a picture that would get lots of likes, comments, prayers. It was neat to hear from people I hadn’t heard from in years and we learned more about our friends. It was almost like therapy.”
Through shared photos on both of their Facebook pages, Isabella turned into the local fashionista, always in a different headband or hat, inspiring supporters to contribute their own fashionable head attire. “We received literally hundreds of hats and headbands, even from some people we didn’t know,” Eric stated. The doctors and nurses at Advocate Children’s Hospital commented on Isabella’s ever-changing style and even participated in dressing her up. “They told us they had never seen any little girl dressed up as much!”
Isabella’s biggest reach came in the form of yellow ducks. As she was struggling with issues with her bile ducts, a friend kept referring to “ducts” as “ducks” in an effort “to make us smile,” Eric said. Duck imagery took hold and soon supporters were posting photos of ducks on Facebook and sending ducks in honor of Isabella. One particular Facebook group saw all 300 of its members change their profile photo to a duck and various websites even changed their banners to ducks. The ducks even spread across the world, as a military friend of a friend has taken a duck with him on deployment, taking photos in various countries, to represent the family and honor Isabella.
The support gave strength to the Carter family as they endured surgeries, meetings with doctors, treatments, all in an effort to help Isabella hang on. “They didn’t know her life expectancy, it was a very unusual case with everything she had,” Eric said. The family made the best of the situation, cherishing the time spent with her, especially the times they got to hold their baby girl. “Those were the best times,” he went on to say, discussing when Michelle was able to give Isabella a sponge bath or change her diaper at night. “My wife got to be a mom to her.”
During her fifth surgery to correct an intestinal issue, after fighting incredibly hard, Isabella’s body had enough and she passed. “She was a gift for two months,” Eric stated. The community that surrounded the family throughout this time agreed, as even more ducks appeared on the social network, accompanied by thoughts and prayers for the family. “There are still people that have ducks as their profile photo.”
“Who would’ve thought Facebook would be therapy,” shared Eric. “The support from people has been amazing. It would’ve been a lot tougher without…[the situation] brought families closer, developed new friendships, reignited old friendships. A lot of positive has come out of it.”