Happiness is Laden in Gold

Before our Thanksgiving turkey dinner, I had everyone at the table name one thing that they were thankful for this year, and I think that my mom had the best one. My mom said, "I'm thankful for life ... I'm just thankful for life in general." I have never heard my mom say anything like this before, and it touched my heart. It also re-opened my eyes.

Life is very short, and I don't always remember this, as blatantly obvious as it is. But my mom made me stop for a minute and reflect on the the gratitude in my heart for my own life, and for all of the lives that have crossed my path, including hers. I give thanks to God for every day of my life, and I know that tomorrow is not promised. But there is one thing that I do know--I have the choice as to how I'm going to spend my years, and I have the choice as to how I'm going to live it.

What They Expect

77.7 years--this is the current life expectancy rate for United States citizens taken from the CIA World Factbook. This book is an informational resource written by the Central Intelligence Agency of the United States of America. It is produced primarily for the officials in our country's government, but it is also available to the public. Almost 80 years seems like a very long time, doesn't it? But broken down into realistic terms, it's not. Socially, our lives are divided into decades--the 20s, the 30s, the 40s and so on. So if cats have 9 lives, then that means that we only have 7. We only have 7 chances to get this thing right. We only have 7 chances, and if you're reading this, most likely at least one of them is already over.

So what I see here before me is a choice and a challenge. It is clearly defined, and I don't have long to make it. According to the CIA, I only have 4 chances left, and I don't want to waste any of them. I know that I have wasted enough, and there is no more room for wasting anymore. So I'm extending this challenge to you, and I'm asking you to choose with me ...

What are you going to do with your life? Will you use it for you, or will you use it to try to help make someone else's better?

Why Not Spend our 77.7 Happily?

Studies have been done that show us that doing for others makes us happy, and actually improves the quality of our lives. One such study was performed by a man named Michael Steger, and his group. Dr. Steger is a psychologist, who during this study, worked out of the University of Louisville. His study aimed to answer the question: Which makes people happier, seeking selfish pleasure or doing good? After doing multiple such studies, the conclusion was always the same. Those who more so partook in meaningful activities, the happier they were and the more meaningful their lives felt. Those who more so partook in selfish pleasure-seeking activities did not feel any increase in happiness or purpose in their lives. Another psychologist, Richard Ryan, has been quoted as saying, “A lot of times we think that happiness comes about because you get things for yourself, but it turns out that in a paradoxical way, giving gets you more, and I think that’s an important message in a culture that’s pretty often getting messages to the opposite effect.” And Dr. Steger, who is a self-ascribed "cynic" said these results show an “enormously optimistic picture of people, that as a cynic, I was very happy to see."

There's Always an Excuse and a Critic

The picture is clear that doing such things as volunteering, helping others and giving from our hearts brings us to a more fulfilling happiness in our lives. Doing these things provides for us a greater purpose and direction.

All of us want to be happy, right? I mean, I do, don't you? So why aren't more of us volunteering and doing these meaningful things?

Could it be that we don't always have the time? Could it be that we feel that we don't have enough money, or that we have to be an expert to do the the things that we wish we could do? Could it be that others sometimes try to discourage us from doing good because it's not what they would be doing, or what they approve of? Could it be, could it be?

I say hogwash. "Could" never did nothin'.

The Paradoxical Commandments

The Paradoxical Commandments were written in 1968 by a 19 year-old leader named Kent M. Keith. He is now Dr. Kent M. Keith, and he dedicates much of his life to encouraging leaders and those who truly want to help others to do this in the face of it all. Even Mother Teresa found Dr. Keith's words so compelling, that she posted his commandments on the wall of her children's home in India.

Because no matter what we do, even if it's for the good of others, there will always be those who will try to discourage us. Let their attempts to derail drive us to do more, to help more people, and to bring even more happiness into our lives. Keep these commandments in mind, keep your head up and keep on going.

The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

The Pot of Gold in Your Heart

Before I go for now, Valparaiso, may I add another commandment of my own?

If you have a pot of gold in your heart, some will say that it's coal.
Give your pot of gold away anyway.

Because no matter what we do, even if it's for the good of others, there will always be those who will try to discourage us. Sometimes it's because they don't agree, sometimes they don't understand our hearts, they may feel powerless in their situations, and sometimes it's because they wish that they were doing something too. But in our pursuit of fulfilling our lives and others', let us not stop giving, helping and uplifting those who are in need.

Let us never stop walking on the path of true happiness--the path that is laden with gold, that is filled with people to work with and to help, never a path that we walk alone--the path of our hearts. Let's start walking, Valparaiso. We've got 77.7 years to get there, and that is not much time at all.

May happiness always be yours. May we always share our pots of gold.

Christine Hisick is the Founding Organizer of Banta Feeds Food Drives, www.bantafeeds.com. The President of the Banta Neighborhood Association, www.bantaneighborhood.org. She is also the Founding Organizer of the Hands Around the Square Unity in Diversity Vigil, all in Valparaiso, IN. You can contact Christine by emailing her at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .