Yes, it is a little bit unorthodox to write about yourself and call yourself strong, but recently I have found my strength, and my voice. I have started a new journey down a path and that path is called Divorce.
I have been going through a life changing event; after 25 years of marriage, my marriage is ending in divorce. I am not the first person to get divorced, nor will I be the last, but unless you go through it, you don’t know the pain, emotions and feelings you will have.
I felt like writing about myself and my journey down this path because no one understands these feeling more than myself, and I am not even sure I understand them truthfully, but if one other person is inspired, if one person says “If she can do it, I can do it and I will be ok,” then it was worth the effort to write this and share my journey.
I am still going through the process of formalizing all of the paperwork, but at this point I have come to realize that that is just a formality.
I have discovered my strength because people tell me I am strong when I tell myself “I am not strong,” but in reality, “I am.” I am doing it, I made the decision, I have started putting one foot in front of the other and I take each day one day at a time. I have kids that depend on me to stay positive, a family that keeps me encouraged, parents that are behind my decision and friends that keep me focused on the positive and that helps me to truly see I am a strong person and I am not alone. I wasn’t just a wife for 25 years; I am a mother, daughter, sister, friend and co-worker.
One thing I have learned from working for such an amazing media source as Ideas In Motion Media is to look for the GOOD in our community. Over the last 4 years of working directly for the company, primarily Valpolife.com, it has helped me to do just that, look for the GOOD and I have become enriched, met amazing people, experienced new things and truly enjoyed each experience. I want to set that example for my children; to look for the GOOD and to stay positive.
I have found that in these last several months since the separation from my husband, I have become happier, healthier and laughed more and more. I joined a gym with two co-workers, Di Nyrio and Dawn Gattie. They gave me the courage to go the first day and take that first step and I have been going ever since. My son Corey has taken up coaching me every week to keep me focused and on the right track. I have lost weight, changed my hair style and been inspired by others I have met and read about including Charlie White, a Sales Associate at Art Hill AutoGroup.
If others who have gone through a similar experience, whether it be divorce, sickness or an unexpected loss can stay focused and remain positive, so can I. If others can go through divorce and survive, so can I.
I have found my voice, and by talking about it and sharing my journey down this new path called Divorce, it can only make my voice louder and stronger. I have found I have friends I can talk to and rely on that I never fully appreciated. A dear friend and co-worker Elaine Johnson-Merkel gave me a book to read called “Happily Ever After, a Daily Devotional, Walking with Peace and Courage Through a Year of Divorce.” This book helped me begin the healing process and to put one foot in front of the other and to focus on a positive message each day. By reading this devotional I have found I want to sit down with the author, Kristin Armstrong, and talk to her because she gets me, her feelings, her thoughts, are as if they were my own, and without even knowing her, she has given me the courage to face each day and she has helped me too to realize I am not alone.
Recently even more GOOD things have happened, giving me the courage to keep putting one foot in front of the other and that was having Rebuilding Together come to my home to do some much needed repairs. These volunteers came on their own time for no pay to help a perfect stranger, me, find a little bit of grace in this difficult time. I had applied for the repairs 2 years ago but only recently was contacted. It was just what I needed at the right time to not feel so overwhelmed. Project Managers Phil Christenson and Tim Ault (Von Tobel) came to my home, looked at what needed to be done and spoke to me with dignity and tact ensuring that they truly wanted to help me.
Tim Ault said “We don’t do this to help potential future home owners of this house. We don’t do this to help houses; we do this to help people.” Volunteers at house #12, our home, included “Bill, Steve, Al, Claudia, Amy, Debbie, Jackie, Chuck, Chuck Jr, and Chris all of which I only got first names because most of us met for the first time that day and they had just met each other that day as well. They did yard work, spring cleaning, window replacement and other household repairs. We all worked together as a team. Two of my sons helped all day, Zack and Corey, as well as my daughter’s friend Matt Rose. It was a beautiful day, sunny, warm and perfect for doing all the work. I felt blessed, but most of all, not alone.
With my children encouraging me, I am moving forward one foot in front of the other. I am focusing on the positive and trying to laugh more. I am strong, I will be ok, I can do this, I do matter, I have found my voice, I am not alone and I will be ok taking this journey down this path called Divorce.